*

Back to School

2009-08-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

It's time to go back to school, time for the business to start again. Between returning to work, having to buy school supply lists, school clothes and helping my daughter transition from elementary to middle school, it seems like all the business and expenses will be starting again soon.

Sometimes I think.......how can I do this all alone?

The good news is..........I really don't have to! God sees me, He sees my children and their needs, and He's got our back. I know this, and this knowledge comforts and encourages me. Spending quiet time with God is what keeps me going.

I remember a conference I attended 11 years ago where a lady explained how sometimes we can get up in the morning, and we think of the numerous things we have to accomplish, and we think.......I don't have time to pray; I need to get straight to work? But really, how effective can we be at what we do if we don't involve God? She compared this behavior to looking at a pile of potatoes to peel, and thinking, " I don't have time to sharpen the peeler; I've got to start peeling!" However, how effective would we be and how much smoother would our work go if we actually took the time to sharpen our peeler? Spending time in the morning with God and focusing on Him at the beginning of our day will make our day go better. It doesn't mean we won't have problems; it just means that we will have His support and will approach situations with a more godly perspective. That will make things smoother.

Rick Warren said those who are spiritually effective take time with God. Even Jesus did. Don't forget to sharpen your peelers!

Wisdom in Our Relationships

2009-05-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a Happy Mother's Day!

I hope you enjoyed your children. Whenever they present challenges, I try to remember what a blessing they are. One point I've been thinking about is how to relate to my children in more wise ways, and how to help them relate to others in more wise ways. God can use our children and our relationships with them to help us grow and become more like Jesus.

As I've been thinking about this, I came across some pointers in an e-mail from Dr. Rick Warren. These have helped me, and I hope they help you.

From these verses we learn six ways to be wise when we relate to others. If I am biblically wise...

1. I will not compromise my integrity (wisdom is pure). I'll be honest with you. I'll keep my promises and commitments to you.

2. I will not antagonize your anger (wisdom is peace-loving). I'll work at maintaining harmony. I won't push your hot buttons.

3. I will not minimize your feelings (wisdom is courteous). I may not feel as you do, but I won't ignore or ridicule how you feel.

4. I will not criticize your suggestions (wisdom allows discussion). I can disagree with you without being disagreeable.

5. I will not emphasize your mistakes (wisdom is full of mercy). Instead of rubbing it in, I'll rub it out.

6. I will not disguise my motivations (wisdom is wholehearted and sincere). I'll be authentic with you. I won't con or manipulate you.

I hope these pointers help you to grow and enjoy your children more, too!

I can't embed this video, but I hope it will bless your heart!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W75O-x2C3s

How you respond to difficult circumstances: Are you a carrot, and egg, or a coffee bean?

2009-03-31T10:56:00.001-07:00

A dear friend of mine shared this story with me, and I would like to share it with you. Enjoy!

The carrot, egg, and a cup of coffee. Something to think about and share; A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Ask for Help...and Laugh!

2009-03-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

As single moms we become strong, independent and self-reliant. Circumstances dictate that. One thing I have learned over the past couple of months is..... ask for help!

I have always been reluctant to ask, but it is sometimes necessary and never a sign of weakness. God created us to be social, and wants us to love and support each other.

So, when my son broke his ankle in February and was out of school for six weeks, I really learned to ask for help. We may feel alone in our households, but we do not have to be alone in our lives. We are already supermoms; but we do not have super powers.

I am blessed to have great friends and a wonderful church family to help out. Stay connected to a supportive community, and if you are not, find one! There are many resources on the internet to find local support.

And, while you are asking for help.........laugh! Finding humor in situations helps to relieve tension relax the body.

So, in effort to help us laugh together, here's a little parenting humor for you. And by the way, last night I said to my son .... be careful!

A New Year, A New Family

2009-01-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

And, no... I didn't get married!

The reason why I am saying this year has brought a new family is because God has been opening my eyes to the realization that I have a family outside my biological relatives. Yes, I know these people have been there...but, have I really known that or deeply appreciated them? I think God has been teaching me something very special about family during these past holidays.

Holidays are often joyous times, but they can sometimes be hard. The holidays have been a blaring reminder of the death of a dream that I once had. What dream was that? The dream of always being surrounded by a loving family.

Except for my children, this year I have not had the chance to spend one holiday with any blood relative. Although I do have family not too far away, this year I was told on two occasions that I could not spend the holidays with family members. As a single mom who is alone with two children, the sting of rejection really hurt. The rest of my family lives in Spain, so I was left out of options.

I could have spent the past week wallowing in self-pity, but God has used this situation to teach me something new. Family doesn't consist only of those who carry the same last name or who are genetically close. Family members are those who want to spend holidays with me and share their love because of their own desire to do so.

This past week, family members have been those who have:
1. Invited me over after Christmas Eve service for dinner and caroling.
2. Taken me out to brunch on Christmas Day and shared a heart-to-heart, warm conversation.
3. Fed me tons and tons of food at Christmas Dinner (how many animals can you eat in one sitting?) and shared lots and lots of laughs.
4. Been constantly available to "talk through" issues I was facing with my children and their new blended family situation.
5. Toasted in the New Year with me, had me spend the night so I am not out on the road with a bunch of DUIs, and then invited me to join in on a church house fellowship on New Year's Day.

That's family.

Oh wait..... my dream hasn't died! I have been surrounded by a loving family during the holidays! Thank you, God! I know you have met the deepest need of my heart by placing these people in my life. Just as Hagar called God, El Roi (the God who sees), I know God sees me and has stepped in to surround me with a loving family. He doesn't need blood ties or a man to do that!

Maybe our families are not exactly what we dreamed of when we first fell in love, had our first kiss at the altar, or held our newborn in our arms for the first time. That doesn't mean God cannot create a beautiful family for us. My prayer for you, single mom, is that God give you a spiritual family that blesses your heart, as He has done for me this year.

Thank you to those who are a members of my spiritual family. I cannot use the word extended, because you're not. You are very, very close to my heart.

Count Your Blessings!

2008-11-25T11:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

YOU ARE BLESSED IF...
*You woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
*You have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation...you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
*You can attend a church meeting without the fear of harassment,
arrest, torture or death...you are more blessed than three billion
people in the world.
*You can read this message, you are more blessed than the two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
*You have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world.
*You have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish some place...you are among the top 8% of this world’s wealth.
*Your parents are still alive and still married...you are very rare.
*You hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful...you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
*You can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder...you are blessed you can offer God’s healing touch.
*You prayed yesterday and today...you are blessed but in the minority because you believe God does hear and answer prayers.

Take a moment, count your blessings and pass this along to remind someone of how blessed we all are!

Influence

2008-11-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

AS SINGLE MOMS WE ARE THE SPIRITUAL LEADERS OF OUR HOMES.

First, we need to accept this responsibility.

We should ask ourselves: What kind of influence are we having on our children, and how can we be more purposeful in helping our children love God and develop Godly character?

Mothering includes meeting our children's physical needs, but what about their spiritual ones? Feeding their bodies is very important, but how are we feeding their souls? How are we involving God in this process?

When Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy Chapter 1, he mentioned it was Timothy's mom Lois and grandmother Eunice who exerted Godly influence on him. So, as women, we can become successful in raising Godly children, even when a man is not playing that role in our children's lives.

One thing we can do is ask God to bring a "Paul" into our children's lives, or a godly male influence and mentor. However, we must still work on the influence we are having on them.

What are Godly children? I love the fact that God chose David to be the next king of Israel because God saw that David was "a man after God's own heart." I would love for God to be able to say that about me and my children.

Let's grow in our relationship with God so we can help our children to do so, too. We can grow through obedience, prayer, seeking God's truth in the Bible, and developing close relationships with other people who love God, too.

As we reflect on the type of influence that we have on our children, let's ask ourselves these questions:

1. What is the quality of my relationship with God? Am I in tune with Him? How can I help my children be in tune with him?

2. What role does God's Word play in our home?

3. Are my actions, attitudes and habits ones that I would want my children to imitate? (they're watching!)

4. Is there anything I need to change and ask God for help?

This message is not intended to overwhelm you. Ladies, we can make it, and we're not alone. God is with us, and we can find help in our families and friendships. I just want to encourage us to be purposeful and faithful in the spiritual influence we have on our children so they can grow up to be God-loving men and women of character.

I don't know exactly what Lois and Eunice said when Timothy was a young boy, but I can imagine that they lived right and they taught Timothy to learn God's Word and to trust and obey Him.

I chose this funny video because I know that as a mom I often sound like this! Pray for me to be a more effective godly influence on my children. Leave me a message so I know you're out there, and I'll pray for you, too!

Enjoy the video!

Geography Wonder

2008-10-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

As single moms we all want the best for our children. Society measures our children in bests: who has the best grade and who has earns the best score at competitions, who shows the best appearance, etc.

How do we measure our children? How does God measure them? I know I want my children to be the best people they can be, and the closer they are to God, the higher potential they will reach. He has a plan for their lives, and when they walk faithfully with him they will live closer to His plan. I know His plan is better than anything I could come up with!

I once saw a question on a wall, and I think about it when I look at who I want my children to be. The question is, "What will the world remember you for?"

This video is about a little girl who is not yet 2 and knows how to find many countries on the map! I am glad that she is receiving this fame. God sees our children and they are famous in His eyes, too!

2008-10-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

Positive Answers
Single parenting can be overwhelming, and sometimes it’s easy to let negative thoughts creep and linger in our minds. The good news is God has a positive response to our negativity in His Word. A friend shared this with chart with me, so I would like to share it with you. So, next time you have thoughts that bring you down, open the Bible and see what God has to say!

You think… GOD SAYS: Bible Verse(s)
It’s impossible. All things are possible. Luke 18: 27

I’m too tired. I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28-30

Nobody really loves me. I love you. John 3:16, 3:34

I can’t go on. My grace is sufficient. II Corinthians 12:9

I can’t figure things out. I will direct your steps. Proverbs 3:5-6

I can’t do it. You can do all things. Phillipians 4:13

I’m not able. I am able. 2 Corinthians 9:8

It’s not worth it. It will be worth it. Romans 8:28

I can’t forgive myself. I forgive you. 1 John 1:9
Romans 8:1

I can’t manage. I will supply all your needs. Phillipians 4:19

I’m afraid. I have given you a spirit of
power and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I’m always worried
and frustrated. Cast all your cares on ME. 1 Peter 5:7

I’m not smart enough. I give you wisdom. 1 Corinthians 1:30

I feel all alone. I will never leave you
nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5